More Merry: Holiday Strategies for Children with Autism

The holidays are supposed to be magical, right? But if we're being honest, they can also be overwhelming – especially for children with autism who thrive on routine and predictability. The good news? With evidence-based strategies from Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, you can help your family not just survive the holiday season, but actually enjoy it.

Here at Ovation Behavior Group, a BCBA-owned ABA therapy practice serving families in Cranford, Union County, and throughout New Jersey, we believe the holidays should work for your family, not against you. Let's talk about some practical, evidence-based ways to make that happen.

Preparation is key – when children with autism know what to expect, holiday outings become joyful experiences instead of overwhelming ones.

Preparing Children with Autism for Holiday Events

Think of preparation as your secret weapon against holiday chaos. When children with autism know what to expect, they're better equipped to handle the unexpected.

Use visual supports and social stories to show where you're going, who will be there, and what will happen. Visual schedules are a cornerstone of ABA therapy for good reason – they work. A simple photo album or digital slideshow can make a huge difference. Show them Grandma's house, pictures of the cousins they'll see, and even what the dinner table might look like.

Visual schedules on apps or tablets help children with autism understand the timeline and sequence of holiday events.

Practice at home before the big day. Role-play greetings, gift-opening, or sitting at a crowded table. This isn't about perfection – it's about familiarity. When your child has practiced saying "thank you" or sitting with extended family, the actual event feels less daunting.

Read social stories together. Create simple books about what to expect during holiday gatherings. These don't need to be fancy – even a few sentences with pictures can help your child understand the sequence of events and what's expected.

Give a timeline using visual schedules. When will you arrive? How long will you stay? What happens first, second, third? A visual schedule takes away the anxiety of not knowing when things will end.

Sensory Accommodations for Holiday Gatherings

Sometimes the best autism support strategy is changing the environment itself, not trying to change your child.

Create a quiet space – designate a calm room with comfort items where your child can retreat when things get overwhelming. This safe space or calming corner isn't a punishment; it's a tool for self-regulation. Make sure other family members understand this is a sensory break area.

Reduce sensory input by dimming lights, lowering music volume, or bringing noise-canceling headphones. Holiday gatherings are often sensory overload by design – twinkling lights, loud conversations, competing music, strong food smells. Many children with autism experience sensory processing differences, and you don't need to control everything, but small environmental modifications can make a big difference in preventing meltdowns.

Limit time by arriving a little late or leaving a little early. There's no rule that says you must attend the entire event. Sometimes the first hour or the last hour is the most manageable.

Modify the guest list by starting with smaller gatherings of familiar faces. Not every holiday event needs to include the entire extended family, especially if your child is still building social stamina.

Building Choice and Autonomy: ABA Principles for the Holidays

Control and predictability aren't just about knowing what's coming – they're also about having some say in what happens. Providing choices is a key component of positive behavior support.

Let them pick which outfit to wear, which activity to join, or which cookie to decorate. Small choices add up to a sense of agency and investment in the experience.

Let them choose which cookie to decorate, which color frosting to use – small choices add up to big wins during the holidays.

Offer breaks before overwhelm builds. Build in time to step away before your child reaches their limit. Think of it like refueling – you don't wait until the tank is empty.

Respect "no" because not every tradition needs to happen. And here's something that might be harder for parents: some traditions might be more important to us than they are to our children. If the family photo causes a meltdown every year, maybe this is the year to skip it or redefine what participation looks like.

Clear Communication Strategies for Children with Autism

Clarity reduces anxiety for all children, but especially for children with autism. Vague expectations lead to confusion and frustration.

Be specific about what's happening and when. "We'll eat dinner, then open one gift" is clearer than "we're celebrating." The more concrete you can be, the better.

Use visual timers to help your child understand how long activities will last. Visual timers are especially helpful for children with autism – they make time tangible and predictable. Time Timer apps or physical timers can reduce anxiety about transitions.

Front-load expectations before you arrive, not in the moment. Have the conversation about expected behavior in the car on the way there, not when you're already standing in your host's doorway.

Adjusting Expectations: Person-Centered Holiday Planning

This might be the most important section of all. Person-centered planning means building celebrations around your child's needs, not forcing your child to fit into traditional expectations.

Simplify participation. Redefine what success looks like. Maybe sitting at the table for 10 minutes counts as participation. Maybe skipping the group photo is okay. Meet your child where they are, not where you wish they were.

Protect must-haves by identifying and protecting the non-negotiable routines that keep your child regulated. If bedtime routine is sacred, honor that even during the holidays. Build your celebration around what your child needs, not the other way around.

Say no to some events. It's okay to decline invitations or skip traditions that aren't working for your family. You don't owe anyone an explanation, but if you want to share one, "We're keeping things low-key this year" is perfectly acceptable.

Working with Your ABA Therapy Team

This guide is a starting point, not a checklist. Every child is different, every family is unique, and what works one year might need adjusting the next. The goal isn't to follow every strategy perfectly – it's to build a holiday approach that works for your family.

When you create space for sensory breaks, honor your child's limits, and adjust expectations, holiday gatherings can be genuinely joyful.

Consider your child's strengths and barriers. Collaborate with their BCBA, behavior technicians, or teachers. Your ABA therapy team can help you develop individualized behavior support plans specifically for holiday situations. And most importantly, give yourself permission to do the holidays differently.

The holidays should bring joy, not stress. With evidence-based planning and a lot of flexibility, you can create autism-friendly celebrations that work for everyone in your family.

Get Professional Support for the Holidays and Beyond

Need more support navigating the holidays or building behavior strategies that work for your child with autism? Ovation Behavior Group provides in-home ABA therapy, center-based school readiness services for families in Cranford, Union County, Camden County, and throughout New Jersey. Our Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBAs) create individualized treatment plans that help your family thrive – not just during the holidays, but all year long.

Ready to get started with Ovation? Fill out an intake form! Want to learn more first? Schedule some time to chat with us here.

As a reminder, the suggestions outlined in this blog are not individual-specific. Always refer to your child’s health and behavior specialists before implementing any new programming.