Someone Asked Me Why Their Child Only Does It in Therapy... So Let's Talk About It…
A parent messaged me last week with a question I hear all the time:
"My daughter asks for help perfectly during her ABA sessions. But at home? Nothing. Why does she only do it with her therapist?"
Here's what I told her - and what I wish more families understood from the start.
Frustrated parent at home while child focuses on tablet, illustrating common struggles when ABA therapy skills don't generalize to daily routines.
It's Not Because Therapy Isn't Working
When your child learns a skill in therapy, that's step one. That's real progress. But using that same skill at home, with you, during a chaotic morning routine, or when they're tired and overstimulated? Those are all separate steps.
Different people, different settings, different emotions - it all matters. And it all requires intentional practice, not just time.
This is called generalization, and while it can happen naturally sometimes, it's not something we can count on. That's why we intentionally teach and practice skills across the places and people that matter in your child's daily life.
Why This Happens (And Why It's So Common)
Therapy sessions are structured and predictable. That's where new skills are first learned. But daily life is messy. Routines change. Energy levels fluctuate. People are different.
Parent or therapist helping child practice skills during play at home, demonstrating intentional generalization in ABA therapy.
It's completely normal for a child to:
Use a skill during play but not during transitions
Communicate clearly in therapy but struggle at home
Succeed with their therapist but not yet with other caregivers
This doesn't mean progress has stopped. It means the skill is still being strengthened across different situations.
What Generalization Actually Looks Like
When we're intentionally working on helping skills carry over, you might start to notice:
Your child attempts communication a little sooner
Meltdowns don't escalate as quickly
Familiar routines feel slightly smoother
Recovery happens faster when something goes wrong
These aren't always dramatic changes. But they're real - and they're often the first signs that skills are starting to show up in everyday life.
Questions You're Always Allowed to Ask
You never have to just wait and hope. If you're not seeing a skill at home yet, ask your team:
"How are we helping this skill show up outside of therapy?"
"Where else is this being practiced?"
"What can I support during our regular routines?"
"What's the next step if it's not generalizing yet?"
These questions aren't just okay - they're part of making sure therapy is actually working for your real life.
The Bottom Line
If a skill hasn't shown up everywhere yet, it doesn't mean ABA isn't helping. It usually means generalization is still being taught and practiced.
Mother and daughter shopping together at grocery store, showing ABA skills generalizing to community settings and real-world routines.
With time, intentional planning, and collaboration between your family and your therapy team, skills can move from sessions into daily life in a way that truly sticks.
If you're wondering how generalization is being planned for your child, or if you're not seeing skills carry over yet and want to understand why - reach out. We're here to help.
Ovation Behavior Group provides in-home ABA therapy and center-based school readiness services for families in Cranford, Union County, Somerset County, Middlesex County, Morris County, Mercer County, Camden County, and throughout New Jersey. Our Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBAs) create individualized treatment plans that help skills generalize into your daily life—so progress shows up in the moments that matter most to your family.
Ready to get started with Ovation? Fill out an intake form! Want to learn more first? Schedule some time to chat with us here.
As a reminder, the suggestions outlined in this blog are not individual-specific. Always refer to your child's BCBA and behavior specialists before implementing any new programming.
